When Spirit Is Around

Spirit of the ancestors.

I had very strange dreams last night.  One was an extremely vivid dream of my grandmother who just passed away in May.  In my dream I saw her pass away again.  I remember her saying something which of course I can't remember right now.  In this dream, I remember her being happily ready to pass on and then I remember her passing, and the expression on her face.  In reality, as relieved as I was that she was out of pain, being that close to someone during their death was totally bizarre.  Whereas I was not present for my mother's passing.

My grandmother has been on my mind a lot lately... I'm assuming because the reality of her death is starting to set in.  I guess the entire experience of watching cancer take her away will haunt me whether I try to black it out or not.   I woke up after that dream in the middle of the night feeling like my grandmother was trying to reach me, like she had made contact.  I was scared but then I wasn't.  I think the clarity of the dream frightened me more than anything.  I almost felt like she was around.  Like she had to be.  The dream was just too vivid.  But why would she want me to re-watch her passing?  Maybe this was all a result of my fleeting thoughts about her passing away.  Or was it just her way of saying "hi"?  Strange.

I've had sporadic vivid dreams about my mother but those have stopped for a while now.  So now when I do have one, I like to believe it is a "hello".  The dreams are never actual "hellos" or "I love you's". They're more just  experiences where I see my mother smiling or somewhere in a scene, reminding me of her personality.

I think I must have a lot of very strong spiritual energy around me - my mother and my paternal grandmother, who were both heavily devoted to my brother and I while they were alive.  Sometimes my mom's energy shows itself in powerful and clear ways and sometimes it feels non-existent.  Like when I left Georgia and I was all stressed out and was carrying all these little bags of my stuff.  Mouhamed my cab driver was clearly sent to me and he was such a huge comfort that night, so that I wasn't all alone and sad.  Then the next morning two (angels) black men who worked at the airport came out of NOWHERE and found containers, wrapped and re-packaged all of my things, carried my stuff and checked it in for me.  I didn't even have to wait on any line.  I literally got out of the shuttle, was trying to figure out how I was going to check all my stuff in and what it was going to cost and one minute later these two friendly older black men came up to me and asked if I needed some help.  That experience was frighteningly amazing and I knew my mother and grandmother had something to do with it.  That was just so something they would do for me.  Have me seemingly rescued by two fatherly black men.  Sometimes you just know when spirit is around.