Last night, while returning from a support group meeting for young women whose mothers have passed away, I met yet another Black diplomat.
I live about a block from the United Nations in NYC, so it's not that much of a surprise. I see Black diplomats around here all the time. You can always pick them out. But this is the third black male diplomat that I have met within the past year. My taking a break "boyfriend" is a diplomat living in Canada.. there was another before him, and now there is the man who I met last night. He is African, from the Ivory Coast, and working for the UN.
It's always the same story... If they've just moved here, they're trying to find reasonable housing not quite in the city, but not too far out either. They're also getting to know the new country that they're living in, don't have too many friends here yet, and looking for a woman to make the transition "smoother". Yes, I said it...
This new friend was probably in his 40s and good looking. He gave me his business card and asked me to email him so that we could perhaps go to lunch sometime. Luckily since I've been down the diplomat road now twice before (as well as the older man road before), I know exactly what to expect...
The older diplomat will take his time, court you, and then come in for the kill as soon as he thinks you're comfortable enough. He'll also more than likely have a family situation back home - meaning a wife and kids. But oh, Black men (or really just men period) are such a trip. This guy doesn't know that I'm already ten steps ahead of him...
The younger diplomat will ... well you know what, my taking a break "boyfriend" is ... just an entirely different story. I wouldn't compare him to the average 30 year old diplomat. He's just his own person.. *sigh*
I can say that I am hoping to mingle with more of these type of Black men and Black people. I really enjoy meeting internationally minded Black professionals. I find their stories and backgrounds to be fascinating, and it's always great to hear career advice from them (although I'm sure this latest character is interested in much more than being my mentor, lol).
I know that when my mother was in her twenties, she had all types of professional men courting her and making proposals. I know of one story in which one of her college professors actually picked her up in a limo for a date. My grandmother tells me now, that she felt like all the attention my mother received from men was too much of a distraction from college. But I like to know my mother was a sassy twenty-something. It frees me to live my life and enjoy my years as a young and single woman to the max. I'm not in the business of being a saint or a bore. I enjoy dating men, wearing flirty outfits, getting attention, meeting new people, and doing things in a dynamic way. As I always say, the status quo just doesn't do it for me. My idea of a fun night isn't attending some average party in a lounge in some major U.S. city. My idea of a great night is hanging out at a beach bar in the Caribbean meeting men who have totally different backgrounds, have traveled, or just are completely laid back.. it can be whatever. But that's just the plane that I'm on and I've recognized that the standard-ness of what is perceived to be "it" in this country does not satisfy me at all.
I am also really raising the bar in terms of who I date, and how I expect to be handled and treated as a woman with a hell of a lot to offer someone. Now that is not to say that I will turn my nose up at someone who is blue collar or not wealthy. I just mean that I am seriously raising the bar as to how I am respected, valued, and treated emotionally... and may the best man win.
*sidenote* (A few weeks ago, I was hit on by a FINE brother who I hired to move some of my things into storage. And if he had asked for my number I surely would have given it to him. But I don't think I gave him as much encouragement as I could have, because there was another mover involved who was annoyingly doing all the talking, so I was caught off guard by the FINE one's sudden compliment to me...and in the back of his mind, he may have been slightly intimidated my background, but what he didn't know was that I was quietly intrigued by him).
At any rate, I can honestly say that my twenties are continually evolving into such an interesting time...
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